Till I Get Over You
by 28.6.42.12
Summary: This isnt what you think it is. This is about my life, but Im using the characters of South Of Nowhere to tell my story,of how i fell in love with one of my good friends, and how I can never be with her... explantaion inside.FINAL CHAPTER up!
1. The Beginning

Reviews would really make my day : ) Thanks!

Till I Get Over You,

ill want you,

ill want to be your one and only,

ill want to love you with every fiber in my body,

ill just want to show you a side of me you've never seen...

Authors note:

This "story" is more like reality. This is more of a diary for me, im baring my soul in this story. All of it is true, but the characters im using to illustrate what im going through are not. Basically, im a 15 yr old girl, whos fallen for a really good friend, and shes a girl too. Why or how that happened is a mystery, but its real, I love her. Its that simple but at the same time its so much more complicated. I never knew that love could be such a burden but such a gift at the same time, ive never been in love before, and until last year I was so sure of my sexuality but things change...

Ashley's POV

7th grade is when I met her. Not having any clue that in a couple years, she would change my life with out even knowing it. Our friendship started out slow, she was very quiet and I was outgoing. I thought she was really cool so I always invited her over to our table. The rest is history. We became good friends since then and have had the greatest times together.But something, I dont know what, but something happend to me. It was the begining of 10th grade, and the summer before had been one of the best ive ever had. Me and her and many other friends would party and have a good time almost every night the month before school started. It was great. I think it was that summer that brought us closer together. Her name is Spencer. She was the most beautiful person ive ever met. inside and out. I was always jealous of her and how all the guys always noticed her first. I think its her charm or just the way she laughs or maybe just by her incredible beauty. I had 2 classes with her which were spent on gazing at her and day dreaming about her. Im not sure why I started to feel that way for her but I do know it was in the begining of that year.

I do remember feeling nervous talking to her, and always trying to create ways to sit next to her at lunch with out actually getting up and sitting by her. I would get mad or jealous when she talked to my other friends and had inside jokes with them, and not me. I was very much in denial at first, I thought well maybe im feeling this way because shes just a really good friend and thats why I love her. NO WAY is it like that at all. I mean shes a good friend, but this love isnt innocent. I fantasize about her all the time, and recreate senarios where I would tell her how I felt. But I always reminded myself, shes straight has a boyfriend, no chance in hell she feels the same way. And thinking like that is what got me through the year without yelling to the whole world how I felt about her.

To be continuted, tell me what you think? Am I in deep shit or what? haha


	2. Winter Formal

Till I Get Over You.

Chapter 2

Authors Note:

This is just a random event that happend last year, but its the night that I knew I really was in love with her.In this chapter the reason Ashley is crying is somthing I made up, well I really did cry but its not the reason why. But anyways thanks for the reviews I really appreciate them. I never would of thought that people were actually going through the same thing. It helps a lot . Thanks.

p.s Everyones names are changed. Cant risk it .

Ashley's POV

January 28th, 2006 was going to be the best night ever, I mean it was Winter Formal and my mom got a limo for me and a bunch of my friends to go in, and there was even going to be a after party at Rachel's house, my other bestfriend. I was getting ready with my friend Amy in my bathroom when I heard a knock on my door. "Must be Eddie ill be right back". I told Amy. I ran downstairs, I was practically ready I had my dress on, red with a small black ribbon that wrapped around the waist that tied into a bow and i had my make-up done, but only half of my hair was curled. I answered the door and there was Eddie he looked so cute in his black pin stripe suit and red silk tie."Hey!" I exclaimed. " Hey you look beautiful!". He said handing me a boque of flowers and a corsauge sorry im horrible at spelling "aw thanks" I replied. I first met Eddie when I was in 8th grade through my friend, hes her cousin. I had the biggest crush on him back then but nothing ever happened, so we stopped talkin for about a year and out of the blue he called me and we started talking again, and yes I started to like him again. He lived 45 minutes away from me so it was good to be able to hang out with him again. "Mom!" I called she was in the living room, when she walked into were we were standing in front of the door I immediatly introduced them. "Mom this is Eddie, Eddie this is my mom ". After they got aquantied I told him I wasnt ready yet and if he could wait down stairs while I was finishing up. He gladly agreed and started talking to my mom.

After about 10 minutes me and Amy were ready and came down stairs. Thats when I heard another knock on the door. I was so excited for tonight, I especially wanted to see Spencer. I opened the door and in came 4 of my friends and well, Spencers boyfriend. I wouldnt call him a friend, not just because he was dating _her_. Because he didnt like ANY of Spencers friends especially me , why I dont know but I know the things he would say about me through Spencer. Me being the good person I am would always be nice to him and try to talk to him but he barely even talked to anyone at all, so whats the use? Nobody liked him except for Spencer, and thats all that mattered. Spencer met him through her cousin, he lives 30 minutes away and she doesnt get to see him much.But it wasnt something I was complaining about. First in the door was Rachel followed by Stacy, and Aiden who was taking both Rachel and Stacy as a date. Then came in Spencer. Not even my imagination could create how beautiful she looked in her white dress and her hair curled and pinned back. It took my breath away. Soon after followed Jeremy, her boyfriend. Then with 10 minutes all my other friends arrived and about half an hour, and 50 pictures later, the streach Hummer H2 limo strolled up to my driveway. After we all said good-bye to my mom we were in the limo excitedly chatting about tonight. Me and Eddie were sitting across from Spencer and Jermey in the back with Aiden who was giving the limo driver directions to King High through the sliding glass window. Rachel and Stacy were messing with the lights and trying to figure out the T.v in the front. "HEY PUT ON THIS CD STACY!" I yelled over all the yelling in limo. Soon my favorite rap songs were playing through the speakers.

"So what did you bring to drink Aiden?" I asked over excitedly. " Haha well I brought coconut Malibu and a bottle with Tequila and Bacardi 151 mixed together. He said as he tapped the bag he brought with him. "Nice" I said with a smile and looked at Spencer. She didnt drink anymore, well since her and Jeremy got together at least. He was straight edge and didnt want her to drink anymore, so she didnt. She was missing out, I could tell she wanted to drink but not with Jeremy attached her hip all night. We got to the school early to take pictures. It took a hour for everyone to be done with there pictures. It was only 7 and we had an hour to kill so we went back in the limo. Once we were in the limo I was ready to get the party started "AIDEN! bring out the Malibu, I cant stand tequila!" He did was he was told and soon I was on to my second cup. It was great everyone was having a good time. By the time we had to go back for the dance I was way more than buzzed.

Everyone was anxiously waiting to get into the gym but there was a huge line. I was just happy to be with Spencer. "So do you like the limo Jeremy" I said again trying to make conversation with him. But all I got was his head shaking 'yes'. Uh bastered the only reason why I tried to be nice to him was to make it seem that I wasnt jealous of him."Damn I want to be in there already" I said. " I know this line is so freakin long! I hate it!" She replied." I know me too" I said. 20 minutes later we were in the gym dancing, it was so fun me and Eddie didnt stop dancing for 2 hours straight, I mean it was easy for me to dance that long , I was drunk, but Eddie didnt drink anything so I felt bad for him but he didnt mind.I always made sure that I was dancing by Spencer and Jeremy, just to keep and eye out. But thats something I soon regreted, because I saw them sneak in a kiss. Why can't that be me who shes kissing I thought to myself. But I just turned my attention to Eddie. " Are you having a good time?" The music was too loud I had to yell in his ear. "Yea your a really good dancer" He replied. It made me blush. " Thanks..." was all I managed to say before someone spoke through the loudspeaker " Okay everyone, we have a special surpise for you, if you would turn your attention to the stage".

Next thing you know theres a punk band playing. "Who are they?" I asked Spencer " I dont know I guess the guitartist goes to King high too". She said with a shrug. God she looked adorbale. "They suck" I told Eddie, because they really did suck. " Yeah I know". He replied. "Lets go find everyone". I said and with that me and him were off the dance floor trying to find Rachel and Stacy. I didnt have much luck because I could barley see through my blurry vision." Hey!" somone exclaimed. it was Rachel, and she was holding my purse along with hers. "Hey we need to go its 10". We told the limo driver that we would be ready by 10 so we would have time to party at Rachels house before I had to be home at 11:30. "Okay stay here im going to go find Spencer". With that I entered the crowd of dancing people and soon found them near the stage. "There you are!" Spencer excalimed. It was nice to be wanted by her." Hey were leaving its 10 time to go to the real party!" I said. Thats when I saw another friend of mine, Will, I started walking towards him when Spencer grabbed my arm, "No stay with me I dont want to lose you again" I tried to wipe off my smile which was really hard to do. " Okay then" and then I grabbed her hand and started walking towards Will. At first her grip was light kind of in shock of when I grabbed her hand but now she had a strong grasp on it, which made me smile bigger. After I said hi to Will we were off the dance floor "Okay lets go" I said to Stacy, Aiden, Rachel, and Amy who were waiting off the dance floor by the bleachers. Thats when I had to hesitantly let go of Spencer's hand."Well its just us whos going in the limo to Rachels, everyone else is getting picked up here later". Said Stacy. With that we were back in the much more roomy limo.

I downed another cup of Malibu because I was starting to get sober. One we got there the party was already going. "Rachel let me change into some of your clothes, I feel like an idiot all dressed up". "Alright".She agreed and we started walking to her room when Stacy and Spencer wanted to know where we were going "Im going to change into Rachel's clothes". I said. "Oh good idea im dying in these heels!" Spencer said. " I know me too" replied Stacy so we all went into Rachels room to change. Rachel gave me some jeans and a shirt and a sweater, it was really cold that night." Hey Rachel turn off the lights in here my boobs pop out when I take off this dress". Rachel did which I scowled at, well more like in my head. I was already changed and was staring at Spencers shadow of her taking off her dress. I hoped that Stacy and Rachel didnt see how much I was staring at her. "Okay im done lets go" Spencer said. And there we were outside, Spencer joined her boyfriend who was stitting on a bench alone, and I had no clue where Rachel and Stacy went. As for me I headed toward the keg. Thats when I saw a girl doing a keg stand "P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z! WOOOOOO!" the crowd was yelling. Hey looked like fun, I wanted to do it. " Hey hey! Im next want to do it!" Before you knew it I was upside down on the keg, downing beer at the cheers of everyone yelling "A,B,C,D,E,F,G- Hey put her down!" I heard someone say.

"She can barley fucking walk! Dont give her any more to drink" They put me down, I was upset I wanted to know who it was. It was Jamie, Rachels older sister who was a senior and she was the one throwing the party."Im fine , im fine " I said trying to justify myself. "No your not, dont drink anymore". "Whatever". I said and walked away to go talk to Amy who was smoking a ciggarete, "Hey! Good job!" She exclaimed and gave me a hug. "Haha you saw me?". I said surprisingly "Yea! Your crazy good job too bad she made them stop!". She replied. After talking with her for a bit I walked over to Spencer and Jeremy who were still stitting on the bench. "Hey you guys whats up having a good time!" I asked."Yeah" Spencer said sounding not too excited. "Hey guess what I did a keg stand but I only got to 'G' because Jamie told the guys to put me down, lame huh?" I said."Haha you did? Thats cool." Thats when I got a phone call from my mom. "Shit" I said to myself and anwered the phone. "Ashley" She said so low I could barely hear her so I went in Rachels room. I noticed Spencer give Jeremy a questioned look when I got up and started to walk off to Rachels room.

"Yea mom" I said as I closed the door to Rachel's room. "Listen Ashley, I didnt want to tell you this tonight, but me and your dad are getting a divorce, and Im not going to be home tonight because I have to fly to New York to meet him to sign the divorce papers..."She said. What? How long has she kept this from me? I was so out of it I didnt even notice that Spencer entered the room, by that time I was already welling with tears. " What? Why mom?" I said I couldnt believe it."Im so sorry Ashley but it wasnt working..." That was all I could take, I hung up the phone. "Ashley?" Spencer said in a whisper. "Whats wrong?" She asked sitting next to me on Rachel's bed. "My- my parents are getting a divorce" I tried to say with out getting choked up." Oh my God Ashley im so sorry". Then there was no going back I was a mess, crying and ruining my makeup. I felt Spencer put her arm around me and caress my shoulder and just let me cry. " Its okay Ashley, It'll be okay, I promise, everything will be okay". She whispered over and over again. I dont know how long I was crying in Spencer's arms but I didnt want her to stop holding me. Thats when I knew I wanted to be with her.

**Michelle Branch**- Sweet Misery

I was lost  
And you were found  
You seemed to  
Stand on solid ground  
I was weak  
And you were strong  
And me and my guitar  
We strummed along, oh

Sweet misery  
You cause me  
That's what you called me  
Sweet misery  
You cause me

I was blind  
But oh, how you could see  
You saw the beauty in everything  
Everything and me

I would cry  
And you would smile  
You'd stay with me  
A little while

Sweet misery  
You cause me  
That's what you called me  
Sweet misery  
You cause me

And in my heart I see, oh  
What you're doing to me  
And in my heart I see, oh  
Just how you wanted it to be  
Sweet misery

Oh, whoa

Sweet misery  
You cause me  
That's what you called me  
Sweet misery  
You cause me

And in my heart I see, oh  
What you're doing to me  
And in my heart I see, oh  
Just how you wanted it to be  
Sweet misery

I was weak  
And you were strong  
And me and my guitar  
We strummed along


	3. I want her

Till I Get Over You

Chapter 3

Authors Note:

No I dont mind telling everyone why I was crying . Well that night my brother got arrested for being drunk in public and back then he didnt have full custody of his son/ my nephew, who were talking care of and I was SO scared that he was going to get taken and given to social services and my brother would never get custody of him. Yea obivously that wouldnt work in Ashleys case so I made the 'divorce' up. Everything else is completely true.

Ashley's POV

"Come on just enjoy the party and have a good time, deal with it tomorrow." Spencer said after I calmed down." Yea your right Im not going ot let this get me down tonight im just going to have a good time". I agreed. And we were soon back outside, of course she was walking towards her boyfriend who was again sitting alone on the bench. But before she went back to sulk in the corner with him I grabbed her and gave her a deep hug."Thanks alot Spencer I really appreciate it". I dont know if she understood how much it really did mean to me."Haha your welcome now go out there and party!". She said and with that I again hesitanely let go. I went back to talk to Amy who was trying to score a hit of pot from my other friend Danny. "Pot heads" I chuckled to myself. I drank but I hadnt touched weed for a year. A great accomplisment because half of my friends smoked. I dont remember much after that but I remember a flash of Spencer's face just her face at first she was giving me a look as if I was speaking another language then it turned into a big soft smile.I think I kissed her on the cheek randomly, half of me wish that I did, but the other half was scared that I weirded her out.

Monday at school.

Like I said I had 2 classes with Spencer which her spent staring at her especially now that I st behind her. It was first period math, the bell rang. We stood outside math class and talked for a bit before heading off to 2nd period. "Wow last night was crazy!" I said. "Ehh it was kind of boring for me becasue Jeremy didnt want to do anything". She replied. "Yea hes a buzz kill. I dont remember a lot from last night well except for my parents, I didnt even bother calling my mom". I told her." Yea well you kissed me..." I was in shock, I wasnt sure if she ment that I KISSED her kissed her or the kiss on the cheek that I wasnt sure if it happened or not. "What? I kissed you!" I said putting my hand to my chest. "Yeah" She said with a smile " You mean kiss you kiss you? Or what? " I hoped Id kissed her on the lips, but it wouldnt matter if I did or not because I wouldnt of remembered it. I was scared of her answer. "No. No hahah on the cheek" She said with a laugh. What a relief but at the same time what a disappointment. "Oh ok phew!" I said trying to make it seem like it wasnt a big deal so she wouldnt get freaked out by it. The only thing is that I cant even remember how my lips felt against her skin. Something I think I will always regret, even if it wasnt really my fault.Damn alcohol. And after that we said our good-byes and walked to class.Her reaction gave me hope. Well I hoped she was asking me about the kiss because MAYBE she felt the same way and that kiss ment more to me than just a drunken way to show her love for our friendship. She probably was just freaked out about it, but theres a little part of me that thinks maybe, just maybe she might feel the same way.

Thanks again for the review they really do help alot.

Heres a song for everyone I was listening to it ALL night long just thinking of her.

**Michelle Branch**- Its you.

If tomorrow never comes I would just want one thing.

I would tell it to the stars and the sun, I would write it for the world to see.

And its you, the light changes when your in the room oh its you, oh its you.

It tomorrow never comes i would want just one wish,

to kiss your quiet mouth, re-trace my steps with my fingertips.

And its you, the light changes when your in the room, oh its youuu, oh its you


	4. I need her

Till I Get Over You

Chapter 3

Authors Note:

Tomrrow the 5th I start my junior year. Everything Ive written so far is from Sophmore year, and I still love her , its been pretty much 2 years and I dont know how in the hell im going to go through this year, I haven't hung out with her too much during this summer because I live 30 minutes away from her and all of my friends ( Basically I moved in the middle of last year beacuse my mom broke up with her boyfriend and it was too expensive for her to live out there on her own so we moved, but I still attended the same school with MUCH sacrifice) This year im still attending the same school. I really do want to tell her but I know ill REALLY regret it once ive told her, I might be just going through a phase you know? But i'll see! And you'll know it because i'll still be writing this fan fic! Well this chapter is just a random thoughts. I will be writing about stuff that happens at school and memories from last year and this summer.

Heres a comment she left a couple days ago on my, myspace page :) :

awww...well u know what? IM SO FUCKING HAPPY! u know why? cuz i get to see ur beautiful face & that hott ass on tuesday! fuck yah! i hope we get a fuckin class...i love u missy. i'll get at cha later. peaaaaaace. Love-(blank)

And what she said about me on her "About Me" section : ) :

(blank) is the coolest person u can ever meet. She's 100 honest & trustworthy. and she just doesnt give a fuckkk. she makes my chonies wet. hahaa. w/o these two girls, honestly, i think i would die. i'll love them forever and ever.

Chonies are underwear in spanish. Haha but shes completely white washed and I love every part of her. And she also mentioned "Rachel" in there too.

Ashley's POV

After my parents got divorced me and my mom had to move. 30 minutes away from my school, my friends, and her. This meant less time with her. But luckly enough for me she had cusions that lived really close to me, so she would still be around once in while at her cusions. I always loved it when she had to stay late after school because I had to wait until 4 because my mom worked 20 minutes away from my school and you know southern California traffic! That was the time where we really got to talk, about her and her life and about mine. Many times I wanted to tell her how much I cared for her. But I was too cowardly. If only she knew this other side of me. I always put up a facade up when I was around her, not to care about anything and that I was a strong person, even pretending not to care about her, just so she didnt have a clue about what was going on in my heart. That went on for a year but this year Im going to change all of that. Im going to be more touchy feely and more emotional, and maybe give her a slight thought that I might be flirting with her, then maybe then she would have a clue about how I really felt. Im going to have to work slow at it, but I know I cant hold it in much longer.

The wierd thing is that I didnt like her to spend the night, well I did , but I always was embarrassed about my mom and the small house I live in. And even when she did spend the night I would put my feelings aside and just be her friend inside and out. I didnt want to do anything I regret, like making a move or anything, that would just make my house more uncomfortable. She even tryed to hook me up with her cusion that lived maybe 5 miles from my house, he's cute but too quite. I still am attracted to guys, Im boy crazy, its just HER, and only HER that makes me feel different...

School starts tomorrow and im dreading it I'd rather just go to a school around my house but I know ill just end up missing her more. God how much I wish I could tell her. I always wonder if maybe, just a little she felt the same way but I know thats impossible. But this year, ill make her question everything about our "friendship". i'll flirt, little by little, and work my way into her heart, it may just work, but maybe (hopefully) i'll get over her and move on. But only time will tell.

_During the end of Sophmore year._

"Uh here comes Mr. Michaels class, God I hate him! He so gay! haha" Spencer scowled as we were walking to our class after lunch. Spencer had a stong dislike for our 5th period teacher, he made me laugh actually. "I love him hes so funny but he doesnt even know it!" I laughed. " I know the way he moves his hands and the way he talks I really do think hes gay". Spencer said. "Haha you never know.." I trailed off as I felt something that ive never felt from her, you know how you can tell when someone is going to hold you hand, they get closer to you and you can feel there hand get closer to yours, thats what happend and she just grabbed my hand. Of course I was shocked, and I acted like an idiot, I should of just let her hold my hand but I still dont know what her intentions were behind that move maybe it was too see my reaction, which was a stupid one. I started to get nervous because I knew I had to react to it something like "what the hell are you doing?", but I didnt want her to feel stupid. So I just said something stupid and looked around nervously " Oh, ha I wonder how many people are talking about us now" Is something along the lines of what I said im sure it was more idiotic. " Oh I know I hold my moms hand sometimes and people are always staring like were lesibans and whisper to there friends its stupid". She said. "Yea lets see how many people start staring at us" I said like a challenge but her grasp was soon gone. Dammit you should of just played it cool and just let her hold it and let her do the talking. Fuck now she'll probably never try it again, was she trying to tell me something? I probably never know. I mean we talk to eachother differently like "Oh stop it your making my chonies wet" or "you looking sexy today sweetheart" and "Lets make love NOW!" And we would also grab eachothers butts and smack them but I always thought she was just messing around.But then I noticed she doesnt do it to any of my other friends not even Rachel. Wierd, so thats why I think she may feel something for me.Or maybe she knows im the only one of her friends that she can mess around with like that with out getting a wierded out reaction.

The rest of the day I couldnt get over what she did, I was caught completely off gaurd but I liked it, I couldnt stop smiling. Damn did she even know the affect she had on me?

Thanks for the reviews Im not sure of what to write yet but I still have some stories of borderline flirting type junk. I wont be posting a new chapter for a while but I promise the next chapter will be longer ok well I have to go to bed, I have a long tourterous day ahead of me. At least I get to see my L.O.V.E


	5. Spencer

Till I Get Over You

Chapter 3

Authors Note:

Sorry it took so long for me to update ive been going through a midlife crsis but it hs nothing to do wuth "Spencer". Enjoy!

Ashley's POV

Thrid day at school.

She looked georgous today, like the last three days. But these last couple days at school I felt like giving up on trying to impress her. It feels like a lost cause. But today was fun. I have 6th period photography with her and we sit next to eachother which was perfect. The whole period we couldnt stop laughing, I loved it when Spencer laughed be cause it made me laugh harder. "Oh God, Jason just texted me said that he just woke up and was just in the shower, I told you he always texts about pointless stuff, I think hes really whipped". She laughed. Jason was her new boyfriend who she shockingly and most unexpectanly lost her virginity to. When she told me they had sex. I cried, because I feel that she deserves sooo much better than to have sex with a guy who was still attached to his girlfriend and when she was on a "break" with Jeremy.To say the least that they had sex at a graduation party in a guest room.

Thats when I lost alot of respect for her, she was always the innocent one, always until last summer at least. She barely knew Jason at that time and wasnt even dating him and through out the summer he was always lying to her about him being with his ex girlfriend. Well fortunate for her I went to the same summer school as him and got to spy on him hugging and holding hands with his ex. He was georgous as well, I mean model status, and with looks like that, came many girls. I was afraid of her getting hurt, and I hated calling her after summer school and telling her what I saw him doing. But somehow he always would manage to come up with an excuse like "Oh yea my ex, shes like that she always holds my hand and stuff" Which to me was complete BULLSHIT. I can tell Spencer WANTED to believe him. And since then ive resented him, partly because I want to be with her and partly because he has no idea what hes got.

Somehow almost a month later he was officially and completely broken up with his ex for good, and they started going out. He was a charmer, good looking and could sweet talk anyone. he was a really cool guy and I first met him out of all of my friends to try to hook him up with Rachel. But obviously that changed Now im not sure but I think its been almost 2 months that they've been going out so far hes been pretty good to her."Oh Jason said hes going to get me something big for my birthday".She said while we were waiting for our instructions from the teacher. " Oh what do you think it is?" I questioned not interested. " Oh well he told my brother and he told him it 'meant too much'". She replied. "Oh its proabably an engagment ring... just kidding" I replied with a slight laugh. Oh God somthing that "meant too much" what could that be? Taking her virginity AGAIN. Its not like SHE was the first either before her, he had sex with 2 other virgins and in total hes had sex with 4 girls. Uh I hate guys like that but it her choice all I can do it pretend to support her."Haha no he said he needs to talk to my mom about it. "Oh God" I replied. Thats what I mean by 'charmer' he gets to know everyone , hes really nice and polite so that if he cheats on her no one really wants to be mad at him.

"Ok today in photography each of you is going to pare up with a partner and do a little research on the photographer I give you, and the rest of the period you can work with your partner on the computers reserching your photographer its due on monday". Our teacher said. Im was super happy to find out that we had 6th period together, I would give us a little more alone time together just to talk . One on one. The rest of the period was great , we joked around most of the time, and a little flirting ( well to me anyways), but im glad I was able to make her laugh.

\

Thats when a short semi skinny white girl walked give the teacher a note. And Spencer just stopped and looked at her. "Uhh" She said in a disgusted tone."What?" I questioned. "Jason told me he was about to go out with her last year, I guess he thought she was really hot, but she was too preppy for him". HUH? he thought THAT girl was "hot"? Compared to what he had now, wow whats wrong with him. Thank God he didnt come to this school anymore since this big scandle at saturday work, I guess someone was stealing computers while cleaning out the computer room, which was what his job was for saturday work so they blamed it on him, I dont think he did it but, who knows. So he got expelled and now he goes to another school that doesnt start for another week and gets out at 12:00pm everyday. Then soon after the bell rang. And once we got out of the classroom I saw the "really hot" girl standing out side. Thats when I got a good look at her. And I gave Spencer a disguted look. "What?" She asked eagerly. "That girl. He thought SHE was hot?" I said as she look behind us and saw her standing with her friends. "Yup". "Hes crazy, he thinks SHES hot when he has this amazing piece of beauty?" I said honestly pointing at her . "Yea well you know..." She replied with a giggle flattered by my comment.

_Fourth day of school._

"Hey cutie!" I heard Spencer say to me as I walked up to her before school began. Thats the kind of thing that makes the beginging of a school day so much better. " I love your shorts there so cute I want some". "Hey, thanks! Vans, 15 dollers" I said with a smile, which made her laugh. I was wearing some camo shorts, that go down to my knee, my favorite pair of shorts. A couple minutes later the bell rang. "Uh I hate school!" Spencer exclaimed. "Ok that was random but at least its friday." I said trying to uplift her schol day blues."Yea I know TGIF!". She said with a laugh. "Peace out" I said as we walked our seperate ways to class. The first two periods were as fast as lightning. Then break, the weirdest part of the day, because no one really talks at the table at break. All I really wanted to do was get up and talk to Spencer but of course I didnt. Why did she have this affect on me? Well soon enough 6th period came around. "Ok class continue on your reserch project". Ms. Lister told the class. "Are you actually going to do the pictures today or are you going to sit at a computer and look dumb?" I said as a joke. "Um I think I wanna look dumb today acutally".

She replied with a smile "Whatever" I said in a vally girl tone of voice. We both laughed as we sat at the computers. I began putting a biography I found on the internet in my own words as she look for pictures on the computer next to me."Oh I really like this one" She said as she pointed to the computer screen that showed a black and white photo of a tall building in france back in the 1900's. "Yea I like it too" I replied. 'Its almost as beautiful as you' Is what I really wanted to say. That period was much like yesterday, jokes fired back and forth at eachother and light flirting, mostly from me. I think Im going to give it a try, the whole "maybe if I flirt with her she'll fall for me" thing which I know will never happen. But I still got hope. After school when everyone left we were the only ones left out of my friend that were waiting there. We didnt get to talk much because my mom came to pick me up. "Dangit! I hate being last to get picked up, my brother better pick me up soon". She said as I got up to leave. "Sorry, sucks for you, but i'll see you tomorrow my love!" I replied as I left her sitting outside of school.


	6. I can't take it ANYMORE

**Till I Get Over You**

I cant take it anymore.

**Chapter 7**

**Authors Note**: This just happened last night. Just a random event, Its all true. Enjoy.

**Ashley's POV**

There I was patiently waiting for Spencer to arrive to my friend for 6 years, Sally's 18th birthday party. I was excited for this party. I couldn't drink this time, all I wanted was to gain my mom's trust back, from getting caught drunk and throwing up in her car a couple months earlier. The party was at her house, and the DJ just arrived and was beginning to set up. I called Rachel because I knew she was going to be with Spencer. I wasn't sure if Spencer was even going because he parents don't like Sally's house because last Halloween she got caught drunk and her parents picked her up from Sally's house and thus thought that Sally was responsible for Spencer getting drunk."HEY Rachel, what's up where are you at?" I said excitedly. "Oh I'm with my sister and her friends and with Spence and Jason" She replied. It made me smile knowing that Spencer was going to the party too. "Oh well im here at Sally's now when are you going to be here?" I asked. "Um well were going to go pick up from David and then we'll be over there". "Ok then ill see you soon". "Ok bye" She said in a hurry. Oh and by "Picking up" she means picking up some weed from our friend. More friends started showing up and then finally Rachel showed up. "Hey! finally, so did you guys smoke already?" I asked as I saw Rachel and her sister Jane walk up to the door, still looking for Spencer and Jason."Hell yea" Rachel replied, she was faded, you could tell by her lazy response. That's when I finally found Jason and Spencer walking up from the car to the door. But I didn't greet them at the door I just pretended that I didn't care that she was there I just continued to talk to Rachel and follow her to the back yard that was filling up a lot more. That's when I felt some one slap my butt and I turned around to see Spencer there with Jason behind her. "Hey don't tease me like that!' I said with a smile. "Ha ha Im not teasing you". She said with a bigger smile. That's when we all made our self's our own circle on the dance floor. I knew she smoked I just had a feeling my feelings were confirmed when Jason mentioned that he was the only sober one in the group. "Me too I cant drink tonight either". "Ok cool your my sober partner!" He said. As we were casually talking and danced a little bit more people arrived and the party soon started.

Me and Spencer were joking around as usual, slapping butts making sexual jokes at each other. I was a really happy mood until I saw Jason and Spencer Making out right in front of us, nobody really paid attention but me. I was talking to Sally and watching them make out in the corner of my eye." See what I mean?". Sally said. "huh?" said I was looking at her like I was listening to her but that the last thing I was doing. All I kept thinking about was how much I wish it was me kissing her. She always hated kissing in public. I remember her telling me this a while ago so it kind of made me laugh when she put her hand front of there mouths as if it looked better and more private that way. Finally the torture was over. The whole night I felt her looking at me. I didn't mind it, and I looked hot not to sound cocky or anything. "Hey don't stop dancing cuz' im here".Said a girl with long wavy hair with tomboy style. It made everyone in the group laugh because know no one was dancing. "I know shit! come on you guys need to dance!'I said as I pushed Spencer and Jason together. "No! Stop!' Spencer said when I kept on pushing and pressuring her and Jason to dance. "Ha ha I know but it would be an embarrassment". "Why?" I yelled because with a packed party that was the only way anyone could hear each other. "Because I suck at dancing". "Uh you guys suck! Come on ill dance! Stop being boring!". "Whatever!". Spencer said with a shrug. "Come on Brandon will dance come on Brandon" That's when me and my friend started dancing with each other but since no one joined in we stopped. "Uh you people are boring!' With that we just continued to talk in our circle. I was having a great time either way as long as I was with Spencer. I just had to ignore Jason and Spencer's closeness. I had to turn away every time he came behind her and put his arms around her or kissed her on her cheek or shoulder. I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to be in his shoes. but of course that would never happen.

"Where's Rachel?" I asked everyone as they looked around for her. "I don't know". Everyone replied. That's when I left the group to go look for her, I couldn't look at him being all over her anymore. it didn't look natural, she never went to hug him or kiss him, and she always seemed a little uncomfortable every time he did. As I started to walk away my other friend Nadine who currently had a cigarette in her hand stopped me abruptly."Hey you remember that girl that was like ' Oh don't stop dancing because im here or' whatever?". "Yea". I replied. "She's a lesbian". "What? How do you know?". I asked not really shocked I could tell by her appearance that she might of been a lesbian. "Because I asked if she had a cigarette and she came all close to me and said "Yea I got a cigarette" all sexy like". Nadine said acting out what that one girl did to her."Ew that's disgusting". I said honestly. That's when Nadine got caught up with talking to someone else and when I couldn't find Rachel I returned to the group still on the dance floor talking. I decided to share my news with Spencer and who ever was paying attention in the group."Hey guess what?" I told mostly to Spencer. "What?" She asked "That girl is a lesbian the one who was all like "Don't stop dancing because im here". I said and her question was the same as mine. As I explained the story to her about the bold move she made on Nadine I approached Spencer super close until are body's couldn't get any closer "Yea I have a cigarette" I said in a serious sexy voice. And with that I moved back from her. "Ew that's so gross". She replied. My heart was still racing from our closeness. I could really get used to getting that close to her. The rest of the group agreed and soon we were on to a different subject.

After about a half an hour, still in the same circle talking, I heard someone behind me. "Yea lets get this party started" As I turned around I saw the lesbian girl with some of her friends. In a split second are eyes locked and I quickly looked away but I wasn't fast enough. I didn't want her to talk to me, she's the last person I wanted hitting on me. "Hey!" She said getting close to me beginning to put her arm around my shoulder, I felt everyone's eyes burning a hole in my back to see my reaction. That's when I did the only thing to do when your scared on getting hit on by a lesbian girl, I gave her a dirty look and turned my back to her. "Ok then fuck you then, you don't know shit". And with that I just flipped her off and she walked away. Phew. After that scene all I heard from the group was "What? What did she say? Did you see what she did? That's disgusting". I felt kind of bad I could of handled it better but I was scared. "Hey, hey everyone be quiet the cops are here you have to be quiet!" I heard Sally say on the DJ's microphone. Soon the party was quiet. That's when Sally came over to our group. "Hey what's going on? Where are the cops?" Was all that could come out of everyone's mouth. "Um I don't know,my moms going out there and talking to them I guess the neighbors called the cops". "What? What a bust, its only 10:30!".Everyone complained. "I know". She replied she was already drunk along with Rachel, Brandon and everyone else in the party except me Jason and Spencer. After Sally left our group her voice came through the speakers " Hey everyone has to leave now" With that came the groans from everyone in the party. "Okay everyone needs to leave NOW the cops are still in the front sorry you guys need to leave" With that people started to filter out. "Hell no I'm not ready to leave!" I yelled. "I know seriously I feel bad for Sally its her own birthday party and she couldn't even enjoy it". Everyone agreed. As we started making our way out of the back yard Sally grabbed my arm. "No you guys can stay, the cops said that I can have only the people I want here so everyone I know can stay but everyone else is leaving so just wait in the back yard". Once she let everyone she wanted to stay, stay and once everyone else was gone we were back in our group again on the empty dance floor. The music was considerately lower and I wanted to leave. "How about we go to Brandon's grandmas house its two streets down from here". I told the group. "Yea lets go". Was the reply I got from everyone one in the group except Spencer and Jason. The only person who I really wanted to go didn't want to. But of course I had to play it off like I didn't care. "Okay then you guys can stay here its dead but whatever".

As we started to leave to go to Brandon's grandmas house I saw Spencer and Jason making out yet again against a wall, his hands were inside her sweater rubbing her back and stomach. Uh "Lets go". I said. But then I remembered my friend Edgar had a car. "Hey why are we walking there when you have a car?" I asked Edgar. "Yea I know but I don't have enough room for everyone. "Well Its just down the street, we can lap it". I replied. "Hey I cant have that many people at my grandmas house guys only like three people". "Three people?" Replied Edgar. "Yea". Said Brandon. "Okay then well just drop you off then I guess". I suggested. "Ok then I don't care". Two minutes later we were dropping off Brandon and started to drive to drop off my ex boyfriend from freshmen year who I absolutely hate. After we dropped him off we got something to eat at Del-Taco. I was starving but bought everyone else food. Then after dropping off Nadine we were off back to the party. It was 12:30 by that time. "Oh lets go Jason my dads coming and we have to be waiting in the front". She said as I approached the group again. "Here see if I smell" She asked and gave me a hug. "Nope" I said even though she smelled like the best thing I've ever smelled of course I didn't tell her that. "What about my hair?" she asked giving my another hug". Just to test if she smelt like weed when her dad hugged her. "Nope". I replied even though her hair smelled like fruit shampoo."What about my jacket?" She asked putting her jacket to my nose. "Nope". I said with a giggle even thought she smelt like home, note , she did that about 5 times that night, maybe it was just a ploy to hug me ;), NOT. I wish. But I wasn't complaining one bit. She could of just got Jason to smell her but no, she chose me. :). Anyways soon she was gone and my mom picked me up. That night I couldn't stop thinking about her. I need to tell her.


	7. Am I Floating?

**Till I Get Over You**

**Chapter 7:**

This is the closest ill ever get to flying

**Authors Note:** Short chapter but its the best BY FAR. This is about all this week, and yea everything is true so enjoy, because I did! Oh and if I ever tell "Spencer" how I feel I think I would play and sing that song on my guitar.

* * *

**Ashley's POV**

WOW. How can I explain what just happend? Well let me start from the beginning. Monday right after school, the most wonderful thing happened. It was me and Spence just exiting our 6th period photography class when I accidentally hit her hand with mine while we were walking to the front of the school where we usually wait to get picked up. "Gosh Ashley stop trying to hold my hand". I heard jokingly from Spencer's beautiful lips. And thats when I told myself 'Im not going to let this chance slip away like last year'. "Oh Yea?". I replied as I grabed her hand. We both just looked at eachother and giggled, "People are going to think were lesbians" Spencer spoke with a smile. "Oh yea Spencer come here" I replied as I stepped close to her and put my hand on her hip, "Why dont we find a more private place?" I joked. We continued to walk hand in hand. "Lets see how many looks we get from people". She challenged. "Ha ha ok" I replied nervously, not because of what people might think but because I was actually going to hold Spencers hand for more than a couple seconds.This was HUGE for me!

As we continued to walk with our fingers inproperly place inbetweeen eachothers,but each of us too shy to fix it, we both walked to the front of the school. All that came through my mind was, 'Spencer's hand is in mine as were walking, **am I floating? Becasue this is the closest I think ill ever get to flying.' **Her hand was so soft, laced with slight sweat from both of our hands. I could not stop smiling. We made a note of the people who stared at us, well she did at least I was too wrapped up in her touch to pay attention to the world around us. Holding her hand felt so rare but so comfortable. What if we really were a couple? But thats impossible because miracles dont happend, especially for someone like me. The most dreaded time came when we made it to the front of the school. "Leasbos!" Yelled Rachel as we approched. "Ha ha you should of see the how many peopel loooked at us". Spencer replied aswe both let go. "Were you two holding hands since photography?" "Yup, we just wanted to see how many people stared at us", I replied. "Oh". Said Rachel. The only time I think ill feel that good ever again, is if I kiss her, but to be honest with my heart, that will never happen. And that night I didnt mind not being able to sleep because of thinking about Spencer.

**Coldplay-Green Eyes**

Honey you are a rock,  
Upon which I stand,  
And I came here to talk,  
I hope you understand,  
The green eyes, yeah the spotlight, shines upon you  
And how could, anybody, deny you,  
I came here with a load,  
And it feels so much lighter now I met you,  
And honey you should know,  
That I could never go on without you,  
Green eyes

Honey you are the sea,  
Upon which I float,  
And I came here to talk,  
I think you should know

The green eyes, you're the one that I wanted to find,  
And anyone who tried to deny you, must be out of their mind,  
Because I came here with a load,  
And it feels so much lighter since I met you,  
Honey you should know,  
That I could never go on without you,  
Green eyes, green eyes  
Oh oh oh oh (x4)

Honey you are a rock  
Upon which I stand


	8. Leave me where I stand

**Chapter 8**

Leave me where I stand...

**Authors Note:** Hey everyone thanks for the reviews, and enjoy, yes,everything is true. Short chapter I know I just dont have that much time to write but im trying!

**Ashley's POV**

_She's sitting next to me on my bed. She looked so gorgeous, even more because she wasn't even trying. She was dressed comfortably in sweats and a sweater with her hair up in a messy ponytail. I was wearing almost the exact same thing except I was w earing shorts instead of sweat pants._ "_Im bored, lets do something fun like something childish". Muttered Spencer. "Ok... tickle fight!" I yelled but before I could even get up to grab her she was already straddling me laughing while she was grabbing at my stomach. "Oh my god Spencer stop!" I screamed in between laughs. That's when I decided to go for her neck but she was too quick and moved her head back. "Uhrgg!" I said with frustration, and started tickling her stomach. I got her, that was her weak spot, she couldn't stop laughing and her hands soon were removed from my own stomach and frantically grabbing at my hands which her furiously tickling her stomach._ _"Hahahaha STOP!". Is what came from Spencer's beautiful plump lips._ _She still had the upper hand since she was on top of me which I didn't mind one bit but I wanted some more control._

_That's when I tried to switch our position so that I was straddling her, bad move. WHAM! We both ended up on the floor, me on top. We couldn't stop laughing. Wow she's amazing. At some point we stopped laughing and some how I was holding both of her hands above her head . She turned serious and closed her eyes. This was it. Now or never. I moved my head closer to hers inches away from her lips. I've never been this close to her before. She felt what I was doing, but did not move. "Can I kiss you?" I said. Immediately regretting it the second it left my lips, until I saw her slightly nod her head._ _My heart was beating rapidly I licked my lips as she laid still under me. I leaned in and closed my eyes. I felt her lips, the softest lips that took my breath away. I kissed her again. I moved my hands to her face, with one hand moving through her silk like hair._ _It was the happiest I've ever been in my whole entire life. We deepened the kiss, and I felt her tounge graze against mine. Nothing else was on my mind except her. Spencer, Im kissing Spencer?_ _I bit her lip lightly and continued kissing her never wanting to separate because I never wanted to stop. Never. Her tounge was so amazing it felt so right kissing her words can never explain it._

"For low interest rates on you next loan call (1-800) 253- 5556 that number again (1-800) "- Is what I woke up to, my alarm clock radio but I soon turned it off. Of course it was a dream, she would never, ever be with me.The clock read 6:00 am. But today even though it was going to be torture, I was happy to go to see Spencer. The day went by actually pretty fast that dream in av sense gave me hope kind of. I know it wouldnt come true but even if it was in my dreams I got to feel Spencers kiss against my lips. I seriously considered telling her about my dream but I didnt want to weird her out. I just wanted to make her happy. Even if it wasnt with me. Right now I made a desicion that Im not going to tell her. Its going ot be tempting to but I cant. She doesnt feel the same way. My heart has hope, but my mind is right, its not going to happen. 6th period was great because I was with her. We got to take pictures of whatever we wanted within the school campus. Of course me and Spencer paired up. "Finally were going to be able to take pictures" She said excitedly. "Yea I know im not sure of what though". I replied. " I do, YOU! You need to be my model for a picture by the payphone". She said with enthusiasm. "Wow im so honered " I replied and honestly I really was. After I posed for her pictures by the payphone on our school campus it was my turn and I knew exatly what I wanted to do... well besides Spencer. :) "Ok your turn to be the model, so im going to need you to take off your shirt your pants..." I said jokingly. "Ha ha well Ok if I must". Spencer replied with a laugh.

I found a random golf cart that the janitors used to drive around the school with. "Ok I want you like this" I said as I deminstrated on the golf cart. "Got it?" I asked. "I think so". The gorgeous girl replied. She did exactly waht I wanted.Then we returned to our class."ok class the prints will be ready on monday. Ill se you tomorrow" Mrs Lister told the calss as the bell reang. Another day gone . I couldnt wait until tomorrow, she was my sweet misery.


	9. Never Leaving Never Fading

**Chapter 9**

Never Leaving Never Fading

**Authors Note:**Yea im weird, sometimes I just bring alcohol to school just to get some release from the shit that's going on around me. Its been a horrible month im just glad that "Spencer" is in my life. She helps me get though the day even if she doesn't know it. This was last Tuesday, everything is true.

**Ashley's POV**

Alcohol. My only release. From life, from family. from pain. from the torture I go though knowing that someone I love, loves someone else. "Hey , I have a surprise for everyone, well actually its just for me. But you'll be surprised too." I told everyone at the table at break."What? What is it? Is it for you birthday?" Aiden asked curiously. Since it was going to be my birthday in two weeks. "You'll find out at lunch..." I replied and with that I was off to third period. The next two classes flew by. And soon enough I pulled out my gatorade bottle half filled with some sort of fruity cheap alcohol, the only thing that I could find at my house. It was blue and it was in a gatorade bottle, no one even noticed it was alcohol until I gave them a hint. "So what's your surprise?" Aiden asked eagerly. I took a swig from the gatorade bottle and held it up to his nose. "Whoa! I thought you stopped drinking for a while, you were supposed to be the strong one!" He replied. Ever since I got caught drunk from my mom I didn't drink for about three months, which was a record. Aiden wanted to slow down on the drunken nights but failed miserably.

Just then Spencer arrived and sat down next to me with her lunch I just kept on swigging from my trustee gatorade bottle. She started to eat lunch and still didn't notice the strong smell of the blue alcohol that I couldn't even pronounce. It wasn't too bad to drink it was only 27 alcohol but half a bottle was enough to keep me flying high for a couple hours. "So what's the surprise?" Asked Rachel when she arrived at the table. " Here try it" I replied as I handed her the bottle across the table. There was shock in her eyes, I haven't brought alcohol to school since sophomore year."No way" She asked very surprised as she brought it to her lips, but once she got a whiff of it she soon removed it from her lips with a disgusted look on her face." You brought alcohol!" Spencer asked shocked. " Yea". I replied. "What about your mom?" She asked curiously. "She's working late today, so im going to Rachel's house today after school until 6:30". I replied with a smile, I couldn't of planned it so perfectly. Soon I was finishing up the bottle and started getting a buzz. Riinnnggg Rrriiinnngg, Riinnngg. The bell rang for the end of lunch as I took my last sip of heaven. After that I couldn't keep the smile off my face.

As soon as I sat down in 5th period I felt it, I felt it hard. My body was numb and I felt my body temperature rise. The room was out of focus and blurry. After we silent read I decided to go to the bathroom just to waste time, outside of the class. Finally when I returned the bell rang for 6th period. Finally I get to see Spencer I thought ot myself. I arrived in 6th period more drunk then I was before. Damn I cant believe it messed me up so bad I thought to myself. I just sat down next to Spencer like everyother day and just smiled."How are you feeling?" She asked. "Fucking perfect, im wasted" I replied. "Yea I know" Spencer said with a giggle. "Okay class today you and your group is going to develop your film..." Mrs. Lister told the class as the tardy bell rang. "Oh my God I cant do that im way to fucked up". I told Spencer feeling bad because she wasnt to sure on how to do it either. But I knew I would just mess up the film. "Its okay I think the other 2 girls in our group will do it, because I dont know how". "Alright then" I replied and I put my head down on the table. When I looked up I found the other two girls in our group starting to develop the pictures, while Spencer was hovering over the two girls trying to learn how to do it. "Hey Mary!" I said as I got up and walked over to a girl that I had another class with. What we talked about I couldnt tell you because honestly I forgot most of it, but me, Spencer and Mary talked the rest of the period and every ten minutes I would grab Spencer and whisper in her ear and asked if I was acting a little too stupid, although I knew how I was acting but I just wanted to get close to Spencer. Soon the bell rang. And we were off to the front of the school.

When we arrived Rachel was standing there with Jason who came by after school sometimes to be with Spencer. Uh it made me sick, but at least I was drunk and couldnt feel the pain as much. "Hey drunkie" Rachel said as I walked up to her while Jason and Spencer exchanged hugs and kisses. BLAH. "Hey! Im feeling so good right now" I said. "I know dumbass I cant believe you did that" She replied. " Yea well whatever, so when is your mom getting here?". I asked. "I dont know my sister is going to pick us up."Cool" Was all I replied. Then I started to think about everything I mean about me Rachels and Spencers friendship, Ive been friends with them for 6 years, most of my best memories were with them. "Wow I cant believe it, 6 years!" I shouted as I went to hug Rachel. "I love you girl we've been though so much! Damn since 6th grade!". I yelled as I heard Jason and Spencer laughing." You too Spencer as I hugged her and it soon became a big hug between Rachel, me and Spencer. Thats when I kissed Spencer, on the cheek of course " I love you!" I told spencer after I kissed her and soon did the same to Rachel. She would never know that I really did love her, but as more than friend. Soon Rachels sister picked us up, including Spencer and Jason, I guess they all wanted to come hang out. We ended up in Rachel's room talking and looking at peoples myspace. Most of the rest of the time I was kissing Spencer on the cheek every 10 minutes. Maybe I freaked her out. I know that Jason was looking at me differently, I wonder if he noticed anything. "Kay well I got to go, I work at 4:30". Jason announced relasing his arm around Spencer and getting up off Rachel's bed. "Yea I need to go too, I have a history and a math test tomorrow, I need to study" Spencer replied, so her and Jason left the room, to leave to Spencer's house which was down the street.

The rest of the day was a little foggy, my mom picked me up a little bit later and I passed out on my bed as soon as I got home, completely forgetting about my homework. But the dream I had, was worth getting zeros on my homework...

**Quiet Admiration**

My soul forms the words,

My heart ensnares them,

Locking them in its warm chambers,

My mind knows these words,

And my fingers write these words,

Yet my lips,

The dastardly things

They find no valor,

And can not form the words.

How is it that I can feel these words,

With so much hope and admiration

Just for you,

Yet my lips can not speak them

To tell you

Of your shy smile

And your crystal eyes?

I am enamored by you,

By your words and your laughter.

You leave me breathless,

As the air leaps out of my mouth,

Twirling and bowing to your charms,

Enchanted by your congeniality.

Your face is imprinted in my mind

Never leaving,

Never fading.

Your smile warming my heart,

And your eyes entrancing my soul.

I wish I could form my feelings

Into articulate words

Of love and wonder

And tell you of my feelings,

Let you know of my aspiration

To be held securely in your arms,

Where I long to be,

Sitting serenely with you,

Basking in the sweet resonance of stillness.

But I know that wish is unattainable,

Far out of my reach,

Yet I admire you still,

Yearning that one day you'll notice me

As more than just a girl

But as a young woman

Whose heart you've whisked away

Into the perpetual sky,

Floating along the clouds.

And everyday I linger

Hoping for some acknowledgment,

A fleeting look or a petite hello.

Perhaps to even hear you speak my name

Would bring warmth to my heart

And joy to my days

As I wait for you to discern

That I, quietly,

Admire you.

- Kate Dowd -


	10. Im Done

**Till I Get Over You**

**Im Done**

**Author's Note**: I dont know if i am going to be writing anymore for this fan fic, or any fan fic right now. This saturday was Homecoming and there was major drama which includes me and my sister getting arrested... its a very long story and if I have the time I might write about it but I doubt it. Sorry to leave you guys hanging but I have WAYYYY too much on my plate right now. I am probabaly going to transfer schools and probably never hangout with "Spencer" again, because of the distance. I really screwed up this time and I dont think I want to write anymore fan fics. Thanks for the reviews and thanks to anyone who read any of my fics!


	11. To Hell And Half Way Back

**Till I get over you**

**To Hell And Half Way Back**

**Authors Note:** Okay well I decided to write about that night because I have absolutely nothing to do because I am suspended for 5 days. But I hope you guys had a better weekend than me. Everything is true.

* * *

**Ashley's POV**

My birthday was great, a dinner with family and friends, I didn't get drunk, I didn't party, well not too much. The best part was just hanging out with Spencer after dinner watching gory horror flicks that we rented in her cozy living room. It was one of the greatest birthdays I've ever had, just because it was spent with me an her, just kicking back. I couldn't wait till Homecoming. But I couldn't imagine the drama that unfolded that night. I hope that never happens again, I don't think I've ever felt this bad before in my life. Guilt. Shame. Embarrassment. Are the only words that can explain it.

**October 28th, 2006**- Homecoming dance at my high school.

The night was almost perfect, I was looking THE hottest I've ever looked, not to mention how Spencer looked in her high heels and tight black dress. I was th day we've been waiting for this whole month, well besides my birthday on the 16th. I arrived at Spencer's around 6:30. Her and her family were standing outside taking pictures of her and her boyfriend Jason. I stepped out of the car. "Tada! I told you I was worth the wait!" I yelled with my arms in the air. " Yea right, you look like crap." Spencer replied jokingly . As I walked up to her while saying hello to her parents.

* * *

(PS: Now I have a real reason to hate him, to make the long story short, he was planning on cheating on her with the girl that he lost his virginity to, and she found out by reading his texts saying " Oh I miss you too baby, I bought us condoms and when you come down here you can have this dick however you want it". Yea I wasn't really surprised when she told me because I can spot a player a mile away. But she took him back. I just ignore him and make him feel stupid any chance I get, because why in hell would he want to cheat on HER? Anyways I hate him.)

* * *

"Ashley your so pretty!" Spencer's mom told me as I walked up to Spencer to take pictures. After about 2 minutes of taking pictures with Spencer and Jason, my date Brandon arrive, JUST A FRIEND." Woo im so excited!" Spencer said as she pinched my butt while we continued to take pictures. " Okay now do some crazy poses not so serious!" Spencer's mom shouted. That's when we put the peace signs up and pouted our lips " MYSPACE!" I shouted, even thought I deleted mine months ago, but that was the typical myspace pose. Many silly poses and 20 million pictures later we were off to the school to take pictures, yes MORE pictures.

My jealously grew as I saw Spencer and Jason acting affectionately toward each other. Uh why was she with him? She knew was going to cheat on her in no time, but I already told her what I needed to tell her, it was her choice to be with him, I cant say I blame her. who would want to believe that the guy you lost your virginity to only wanted you for the notch on his belt? I wouldn't. After the short wait to take pictures we left to dinner at a restaurant at the mall that Brandon made reservations at.

We got there and were seated outside, the weather was perfect, no one was there, it was like our own private restaurant. We were having the time of our lives. "MMM the steak and lobster sound so good, but its 25 bucks!" I told the table. " So what get it, im paying" Brandon replied. "No I hate when people pay for me! I'll pay for it!" I said. " Your dumb he's your date let him pay". Spencer said "No I hate free loading , he's not even my boyfriend I don't want him to pay for something that expensive. " Well too bad you getting it and im paying". Brandon replied. " Well im at least paying for half of it! Or else im not getting it" I said. "Fine then" . Brandon replied. After we ate we waited for Spencer's brother Glen to pick us up from the restaurant to take us to the dance.

We entered the car and we were off to the dance. "So you guys aren't gonna have a little buzz before you get into the dance?" Glen asked. "I wish, but I cant drink" I replied. " Well just a buzz, I can stop at a liquor store and pick you guys up something, I have a fake ID" God the offer sounded so tempting. " Yea you guys want to? ". Asked Jason pulling out some money. "Fuck it, I think Ill just take a couple swigs" I said falling into the temptation. We arrive at a liquor store. "Okay what do you guys want?" Glen asked apprehensively. "Um I don't care what do you guys want?" Jason asked . "Well I cant drink im already grounded" . Brandon replied. "How about some Tangeray Gin?" I suggested. "Okay get that, the small bottle" Jason told Glen handing him the money. Glen returned and handed Jason the small bottle covered by at brown bag.

He pulled out the bottle filled with future regret and shame. He took a swig and handed it to me. " Are you going to drink?" I asked Spencer who was sitting in the front seat as I took the bottle from Jason. "Yea" . I was shocked she usually didnt drink. "You are??!!" I asked shocked "Yea" She said with a smile. "Okay". I replied happily as I brought the bottle to my lips...

**Author's Note:** Okay that's all for this chapter im too lazy to write the rest in this chapter because there SO much to tell. But the next chapter will have the rest of that horrible night. Enjoy and thanks for the reviews


	12. To Hell And Half Way Back Pt 2

**Till I Get Over You**

**To Hell And Half Way Back Pt. 2**

**Authors Note:** Ok today is my last day of my suspension. Yesterday I had a meeting with the vice principle and the officer that arrested me and my sister. Basically it was to see if I was going to be allowed back to that school, which I don't want to go back, but my mom does. Today the vice principle is going to call my mom with his decision. All this bullshit drama that happened is true. And im replacing my sister with one of my friends. Enjoy.

**Ashley's POV**

The first swig was the easiest to get down. I passed the bottle to Spencer. I watched with a smile as she took a sip. "EW" She replied after she tasted the gin. She passed the bottle back to Jason with a disgusted look on her face. I don't know why I enjoyed it so much when Spencer drank, I think its because she loosened up so much more, usually she's to scared to take risks or do outrageous things, but when she drank its like all that self consciousness disappeared. And because I would have a much better chance at getting a kiss from her when she was drunk. Even though I knew I would never have the courage to make a move, just the thought that "maybe I've got a shot..." always made me smile. Soon enough it was my turn again, I downed a bigger gulp with a little less ease as the first swig.

I handed it back to Spencer. "Uh" was all she said, she hated the taste of any alcohol. But she took another swig, and handed it back to Jason who quickly took a sip of it and handed it to me. I held the bottle in my hands for a little while trying to relax my stomach to prepare to take another swig of gin. After I took it I handed it to Spencer hoping she would take another. "Spencer," I said loud enough to be heard over the blaring music. "Do you want anymore?". She just shook her hand at it and replied "No im good". She said. "Ok". I replied a little disappointed,. "Here" I said as I gave it back to Jason who took a little while to swig it. Then he handed it back to me. "Hurry up and finish it, were almost there" Glen said sounding a little nervous. "Alright" I replied as I took my last gulp. I gave it back to Jason who screwed the top back on the bottle that was half gone. We arrived at the school around 9:20. The dance ended in a little more than an hour. The drinks wouldn't even hit me by then because of all the food I ate, I thought to myself.

"Ok just leave the alcohol in here" Glen said as her stopped the car. Jason gave him the alcohol as we exited the car. "Thanks!" I said as I was shutting the door. We entered the office area where we had to though to be able to go to the dance. That's when I saw Jason taking a Breathalyzer test. " Ok sit down" said the man who was giving the Breathalyzer tests. I looked at him with a confused look. I walked over to him " It's a Breathalyzer test" He said sounding scared. "Did you pass?" I asked. He just shrugged his shoulders not sure if he did or not. "Ok sit down" the man told Brandon. That's when I walked up to take the test. "Maybe since I just took it and it hasn't entered my blood system yet" I thought to myself. (Dumb idea). Just then more people started to arrive. " Ok sit down" he told me. That's when the school resource officer showed up. "Ok those two didn't pass, this young man got a 0.25 and this young lady got a 0.05". "FUCK!" I thought to myself. "Ok come in here with me" the officer told me. I followed him into a separate room where he told me to spit out my gum and asked me to take the test again, which I failed for a second time. "Ok come into the 'conference room' ". The officer said walking out of the room. Im screwed, if they call my mom im never going to be able to leave my house again. it'll be just like last summer, I can't live like that. I'll never be able to hang out with Spencer..." was all that was running through my head. Run. And that's when I walked the opposite way from the conference room and past a long line of anxious people trying to get into the dance, and out of the building.

I was about to cross the street when the man who was giving the Breathalyzer tests came after me. That's when I ran across the street almost getting hit by a car. That's when I heard something hit the floor, " Now we have something out of your purse!" the man yelled as I ran the rest of the way across the street. Dammit what was it? I felt around my purse but everything was there except Spencer's cell phone. Shit. I thought to myself. Luck was not on my side that night, I had what HAD to be the most painful pair of heels on the earth, but they were the cutest. My feet were killing me so I removed them as I continued to walk down the street in panic. That's when I decided to call Sally, "Hey Sally" I said breathlessly. "Hey what's up? What's wrong? " She asked. " I drank before I went to the dance and they made me take a Breathalyzer and I fail it and I-I ran, can you come pick me up from the school?" I asked. As I heard two men with flashlights ask me to stop walking. "Fuck- Fuck im screwed" I told Sally over the phone. "What, What happened?" she asked worried, "Im- im caught they caught me just come pick me up from school." "Ok" she replied. That's when I complied with the two men and walked back to school.

When I walked in the 'conference room' I saw Jason sitting down at the long table in the room. We exchanged looks as the vice principle asked me to sit down. "Ok so what did you have to drink tonight?" He asked. "A shot of Tangeray Gin" I replied."Oh that's good gin" He replied. "Yea..." I said not sure of what to say. I looked at Jason her looked scared. "So what's your name?" He asked. "Ashley Davies" I replied. "Do you go to this school?"He asked "Yes Sir" I said. "And what about you Jason?". "No, I go to Horizon". "So what's the number I can reach your mother or father at Ashle-" That's when Sally walked in. "Who are you?"He asked im a friend of the family's I came to pick her up". She told the vice principle. "Oh ok well im going to need to talk to you in a different room. "ok that's fine" She responded. As she was leaving the room she tried to ask me something but I didn't hear. "What? " I asked/ "excuse me I didn't say you could fucking talk to her" the vice principle yelled at Sally. "Excuse me don't talk to me like that" She responded shocked at his attitude towards her.

"I can talk to you how ever the hell I want to talk to you, leave, get out!" He yelled at Sally. I was in shock at what was going on. Jason was dead quiet the whole time. That's when the school officer got into it. "Leave the campus now!" He spat at Sally. "I came here to pick up my friend". " I don't care you better leave now". He yelled at Sally." Ok let me get my friend!" She yelled back. "Leave!" He yelled back. That's when things got out of hand. The next thing I know is I see Sally get turned around and handcuffed. I got up and tried to get to the officer. "Stop hitting me im not resisting!!" Sally yelled at the top of her lungs with tears streaking her face. But he continued to slam her into the wall. 'Motherfucker' Is all I could say. That's when my temperature started to rise. This wasn't the first time he's used unnecessary force on someone (Note: He did the same thing to my brother at last years dance. Im done with school dances!) I ran after the officer to try and make him stop slamming Sally against the wall. That's when I was held back by the vice principle and some over weight woman that I've never seen before. I lost it, obscenities were all that left my mouth. I don't think I've ever been that angry before. "Sit down Jason" I heard someone say. I turned around and saw him walk up to me, I don't know why maybe to calm me down but nothing could calm me down especially him. He sat back down.

Once she left the building in cuffs I calmed down, a little bit. I threw a chair against the wall out of rage. While Jason just sat at the table. "Ashley, relax, just sit down, just calm down". "No! Are you kidding me did you see him slamming her against the wall for no reason!" I yelled. "I know, I know..." Was all he said as the vice principle walked back in the room. I don't really remember what I really said in detail but I was mostly bad mouthing the cop. The one thing I did remember Is hm asking me if I wanted to go to jail too. "On what charges?'" I asked. That's when he walked out of the room. I was silent and pissed. Jason had nothing to say. Neither did I until I heard something that almost made me want to charge out and punch the over weight lady. I was quiet when I heard the lady say "Wow he should of been here tonight, he missed out",. "Did you hear that?" I asked Jason pointing to the lady through the small window in the door. " Yea, I know...I know... " was all he managed to say. That's when I charged out of the room. "Excuse me you think is funny to you? " I asked trying to remain calm. So far my mouth hasn't gotten me far. "Get back in the room" the vice principle said shutting the door. I wasn't long before the officer came in. "Do you know who I am?" He asked. "Yes" I said with attitude. "Im a police officer" He replied a matter-of-factly. That's when I raised my hands in front of his face and started clapping " Wow good for you, it still doesn't give you the right to treat my friend like that" I yelled.

He left the room and came back less than a minute later, dangling cuffs in front of my face. "Turn around your under arrest". He said "Fine" I replied as I turned around and put my hands behind my back. That's when another officer came in and grabbed me. I looked at Jason who was still sitting down. He just gave me a sorry look and put his head in his hands, I just smiled at him. We walked outside and I sw two people standing out side. I didn't know who they were but they were staring at me "What the fuck are you looking at?" I yelled at them. That's when I saw the familiar design on the dress and the familiar tie and figured out it was Brandon and Spencer. "What the fuck are you looking at?" I yelled twice more too angry to care if it was Brandon and Spencer. I saw the shock and worry in Spencer's eyes. Hah now she notices me, now she cares. I thought to myself.

I arrived at the police station having to answer a million and one questions and soon Sally arrived and was placed in the cell next to me. She was crying and her cheek was bleeding. Fuck Ashley, your such a fuck up, never get things right, you always have to pull other people into your bullshit. And Sally's 18 this is going to be on her record I thought to myself. After I got my fingerprints done and my mug shot I was released to my mom. She wasn't so much angry at me as she was at the officer. We gave Sally a ride home and I didn't stop apologizing to her. Our court date is set for November 11th, I might get probation, if the judge wants me to. I arrived home and called Spencer. But Brandon answered the phone."Hey! Where are you?" He asked "Im home, Im fine I just went to the police station and they asked a lot of questions and took my picture and prints. But Sally got messed up by that fucking pig her face is all cut up" I said in a tired tone.

"Oh fuck man, Spencer wants to know if your mad at her?" . "No-no its just I didn't recognize who you guys were, but after I figured out it was you and Spencer I didn't care I was just pissed" I told him as he mimicked what I told him to Spencer. That's when I heard her voice take the phone away. It almost made me cry I was so relieved, SHE was so relieved. "Ashley..." A exhausted voice said. "Hey" I said quietly. "What happened?" She asked. I explained the story with no detail not really wanting to talk about it. "Oh my God, I was so worried I was shaking, I-I was so scared".It's good to know that she cared about me. I thought to myself. " What about you? Did you take the Breathalyzer?" I asked. "No-no they just let us in since Brandon passed I guess." ."Oh" I responded not really knowing what to say. " Yea we went into the dance but I couldn't-I couldn't stop shaking". I felt terrible to put her through this. What kind of friend am I? We ended the conversation after talking about jail and what her parents said about everything.

I looked at the clock in my room, 12:30. Wow I didn't know so much could happen within a short amount of time. I fell ontop of my bed exhausted. But I couldn't sleep the whole night. And I felt a cold coming on.


	13. I Took It For Granted

**Till I Get Over You**

**I Took It For Granted**

**Authors Note:** It is Monday (Nov. 6th) and I didn't go to school again today because the vice principle didn't call my mom about what school im going to. But when my mom called the principle said I now go to a different school for the rest of this year and can return again next year. Oh and the "new guy" that "Ashley's" mom is taking her to is really my moms off and on boyfriend, but he's pretty much a step dad. Everything is true. Enjoy.

**Ashley's POV**

**Thursday (Nov. 2) :**

I arrived at school with my mom to got to a meeting with all the people I _don't_ want to be in the same room with. Ironic. It is right after school. I was overjoyed to be able to see Rachel and Aiden, and most of all _Spencer_ again, after almost a week without seeing them and barely being able to talk to them. I walked far ahead of my mom hoping to be able to talk to them even for a couple minutes before we headed into yet again the "conference room". I couldn't wipe the smile off my face when I saw all my friends sitting outside of school where we always sat after school. I first saw Rachel. Her face was in shock. "Hey what the hell are you doing here?" She asked as I walked up. "Im here for a "meeting" with vice principle and the police officer. "Hey Ashley" I heard Jason say with open arms as an invitation to give him a hug. Even when I saw him with Spencer I couldn't of been happier. "Oh my God Ashley what are you doing here?" I heard a familiar voice say, the voice that haunts my every thought, but it's the only voice I wanna hear say my name. It made me smile bigger. I gave Jason a hug. Blah. "Hey where's my hug?" Rachel said. So I bent over and gave her a big hug where she was sitting down. I missed her as much as I missed Spencer... almost. I turned around and just looked at Spencer she looked so beautiful, words can't describe it , but I'll try.

_If you listen to the song "Green Eyes" from Coldplay, and imagine yourself sitting on the warm sand at the beach when the sun is going down and think of the prettiest eyes you've ever seen, and you cry and the person you love just holds you and just understands. And your crying because you feel so happy to be with them, then I think you'll see how beautiful she looked._

I was so happy. "God I haven't seen you in forever..." I said as I gave her a hug. For a moment the world stopped. It was a deep hug, it didn't last too long but it was long enough. I breathed in her sent, her hair that smelled like shampoo. And for just a second the weight of the world left my shoulders and It felt like everything would be alright. That's when I wanted to tell her, I wanted to just take her hand and explain to her just how much I love her, tell her and explain to her until the sun came down. "Ashley". I heard a not so friendly voice say. The world abruptly started moving again and I was unwilling thrown back into reality. It was my mom wearing annoyed body language. I let go of _Spencer. _"Ok well I'll talk to you guys later... wish me luck" I said as I walked away. I wont go into details of that hour long "meeting" because quiet frankly im not in the mood to get pissed off again. But one thing that will change my life happened.

"So Ashley will you explain to us why you want to stay at King High". The vice principle asked. "To be honest..." I paused and thought a while about what I was about to do. "Yes please be honest" He replied. " I don't really want to come back to King" There it was. "Oh why not?" He asked kind of shocked. "Because everyone knows my name now, all the staff and office people, and I don't want them looking down on me". I said honestly. And because I don't think I would be able to keep my mouth clean from profanity every time I saw the resource officer. I thought to myself. "Ok well then well let you know what school you'll be going to this weekend". The rest is a blur. In a way im very depressed about my decision, but I know its for my own good. I think it'll help me a lot getting over Spencer.

**Monday (Nov. 6) :**

_7:00 am _

"Get up, Get up" I heard my mother say as she opened the blinds to my room which made it painfully bright. "What? What? Did the principle call you back yet?" I asked because he didn't call all weekend. "No but im taking you to Jim's house, he's going to take you to school when im a work, you can't miss anymore school". She said sounding stressed out. "Oh, okay?". I said . " Hurry up you only have twenty minutes to get ready" She said leaving my room. It was 7:00 am, the time we had to _leave _to actually make it to school on time because of how far we live from the school. The next five minutes were filled with me cursing about my mother under my breath while trying to find the perfect outfit to go back to school in. And mostly to impress Spencer.

We didn't leave the house till 8:00 am. My mom has never been a fan of showing up ON TIME. She dropped me off at Jim's house. Her new boyfriend since she divorced my dad, a millionaire who lived close by my school. I hated him, we had nothing ever to talk about, mainly because he is 10 years older than my mom. _YUCK._ But the money is good and she's planing on marrying him sometime this year, and were moving into this huge mansion by my school, or should I say my old school. He called the school 5 times before actually getting to talk to my vice principle who said I was actually changing schools I was going to a school by King high were I went to summer school at. And here I am writing about it, it's too late to go to school anymore.

Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person, and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much? So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze. It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds. You let this one person come down for the most perfect moment. And it breaks my heart to know, the only reason, you are here now is, _a reminder of what I'll never have_.. I'll never have.. I'll never... Standing so close knowing that it _kills_ me to breathe you in. Standing so close knowing that it _kills_ me to breathe you in. But this table for one has become bearable. I now take comfort in this, and for this, I cherish you. Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much? So much it's like choking down the embers of a great blaze. It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds. And you let this one person come down.. come down. I cherish you.. I cherish you. Just say that you would do the same for me..

**Author's Note: **I don't know if I'll be writing for a while because I obviously wont be seeing much of "Spencer" any more. BUT her 16th Birthday is tomorrow, but I haven't got a clue what to get her, all I got is a great idea for a card/ story book that im going to make her, which I know she'll love. But other than that I don't know, so if anyone has any ideas, let me know because im clueless! How do you get someone you love so much something to let them know you love them but not in a creepy way? I don't know Oh and the last paragraph is from a song . From Autumn To Ashes :Short stories with tragic endings.


	14. Im Late for reality

**Till I Get Over You**

**Im late for reality**

**Authors Note:** This chapter is about my dream and my birthday party ( I AM NOW 16! Woot Woot!) Many things have happened since my birthday party, but it will be in the next chapter because it would take me too long to write it. Sorry, but ENJOY! Everything is true except that I had that dream long before my birthday.

Ashley's POV

_Here we are. In a crowded park_ _too many people here but were holding hands not caring about other people and there judging looks._ _God she looked gorgeous could it be that I was actually with her, _me? _We smiled at each other. _Was she as happy about "us" as I was?_ I don't know what she was feeling all I know was that her smile was honest. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and she wrapped her arm around my waist. _It was perfect... almost. _I leaned and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Her reaction was a quiet smile. _Is this real? _We sat down leaning against the winds just sitting. I turned to her, she was staring into nothing. I smiled, I 've never been this happy before. I sat closer to her and put my hand on top of hers and lean my head on top of her shoulder. She puts her head atop of mine as we just stare into nothing. _And nothing is what we are. _I kiss her plump lips and get lost in it. _I must be lost if I think I'll ever get to kiss her.

The alarm goes off to familiar commercials that make me want to slit my throat for not being able to continue my dream. Not like it would get me anywhere but knowing what im missing out on. With every dream with us together gave me hope, But I hated this in between feelings. I loved , loving her the feeling of being in love, but I hated the feeling of wanting something more than the breath in my lungs, but knowing that it will N.E.V.E.R happen. Sometimes I wish I never met her, because I would of gotten a lot more sleep at night. I wish I could tell someone, her especially, but not getting the reaction I know she'll give me. Im sure if I tell her we'll be friends still but everything will change. It's just one big fucked up mess that I created. _Breath. _It's my 16th birthday, finally.


	15. A Prayer

**Till I Get Over You **

Chapter 13: A Prayer For The Wild At Heart Kept In Cages

Author's Note: All This happened Nov. 21st. Its all true so enjoy.

Ashley's POV

Nov. 20th 8:30 PM:

"Hi is Spencer there?" I asked Spencer's father on the other side of the phone. Her cell phone has been a little screwed up lately and when I call her it goes straight to her voice mail. "Um yea who is this?". He asked. "It's Ashley". I replied. "Oh okay... SPENCER!". I heard him yell. "Hello?" I heard her unforgettable voice say. "Hey its Ashley". I said trying to sound non-chalant. "Oh hey what's up?" She asked sounding down, I wish I could comfort her... "Um I heard you felt like crap today from Rachel". I said because earlier I talked to Rachel, she told me how Spencer wasn't looking to good today like she just woke up or something and that her boyfriend even gave her crap about it, saying "Wow babe you look like your dying". I couldn't believe he said that to HER. Some boyfriend he is. If only she gave me a chance..."Yea well its just that I didn't feel good today...". "Oh well I have a question to ask you". " What?" She asked. "Are you doing anything special after school tomorrow?" I asked holding my breath. "Um... no, why?" She asked curiously. "Well I finally finished your present so I was wondering if you could wait after school tomorrow so I can walk over there and give you it". "Yea, sure". She said not sounding as bad as she did before. "Okay I'll call you after school tomorrow okay?". "Okay" . She replied. "Alright I'll see you tomorrow". "Ok then bye". And that's how the conversation ended leaving me unsatisfied, wanting to talk to her more.

Nov. 21st 2:55

Finally the day was over. I was finally going to see Spencer after going 2 weeks without seeing her, I have to admit it, I've missed her so much, it was starting to get unbearable. "Hey Im walking over their right now ok?" I told her when she answered the phone. "Ok wait your walking all the way over here, you know how long that's going to take you?" She said making me sound crazy. "Its not that far I've walked further, I've been wanting to walk anyways". I replied feeling a little stupid. " OOH Kay". "Alright bye" I said shutting my phone. I was walking so fast I was just about running. It took me only 25 minutes to get their. I walked toward the front of the school, I felt butterflies in my stomach, my smile grew bigger and bigger with each step. I imagined the perfect way she would greet me. I would arrive their and she would run and give me a deep hug saying how much she missed me and me saying the same thing, but the reality was much different. I saw more than just her I saw the back of three familiar heads. Spencer's, Rachel's and of course my day couldn't of been ruined without Jason being their. They were all sitting down. "Bitches and hoes". I said putting on my happy face trying not to show how disappointed I was about my greeting only getting a "Wow you're here already! That was fast", and nothing more. I then sat down and pulled out the story book card that I made for her about our friendship filled with all the pictures I had up in my room with us in it. Which was a hard thing to do because it's the last thing I looked at when I fell asleep and the first thing I saw when I woke up, her beautiful face.

Her , Rachel, and Jason sat around her reading along and looking at the pictures. I decided to talk to my friend Amy's step sister who was still waiting there. "Hey Allison! What's up?". I said "Oh hey what are you doing here?" She asked. "I walked over here to give Spencer her birthday present" I replied. "Oh does Amy still have all your Cd's ?" She asked. "Yea of course! I always forget to get them out of her car!" The small talk continued with me occasionally walking over to Spencer to see what page she was on. I heard laughing and commenting about the pictures like "Oh you look so cute here!" And of course there wasn't one picture that Spence didn't criticize herself in. "Oh my God I look so fat here" or "I look so ugly". I hated when she did that. I even hated it more when Jason wouldn't even correct her false accusations about how she looked in the pictures. "Shut up you look gorgeous, trust me I wouldn't put ugly pictures in there". I told her. She never accepted compliments though, if only she saw the beauty that I saw in her. When she finished with the story book she stood up and walked toward me with open arms. _Here we go... _I thought to myself. "Thanks I love it, im going to put it up in my new room!" She said as she embraced me. I loved the way it felt with her arms around me but it wasn't like the last time. "You better like it, it took me 3 weeks to make it!" I said hugging her back. "I love it!" She said. "Your worth it" I replied in just above a whisper. She started to let go but I resisted for a second and finally the hug was broken. "I know" she said with a smile as she sat back down.

Less than 5 minutes later my mom came to pick me up. "God she picks today to come early!" I said. "Okay well I got to go... Ill see you in another month". I said with a laugh "Bye!" The group said and before you know it I was off to go back into hell which what my mom calls, home. In a way I was disappointed because I expected it to be just like the last hug. I probably expected too much. But then again I couldn't get the smile off of my face.

: A Prayer For The Wild At Heart Kept In Cages All This happened Nov. 21st. Its all true so enjoy. 


	16. Fearless

Till I Get Over You

Chapter 14: Fearless

Authors Note: Sorry for the delay but I've been busy with school, and moving back into my step dads house who lives by my school and by "Spencer". I have another chapter that goes before this one but ill insert it in later because its on a different computer. Everything is true. Enjoy.

(P.s I dont know why but the pics arnt working sorry)

Ashley's POV

_Friday Dec. 1st 6:49 PM_

Me, Spencer, and Rachel hanging out at my step dads house, uh another move and other place, nothing new to me. Spencer was acting frisky, friskier than usual. I haven't seen her since her birthday. It seems live forever but I was really enjoying her company along with Rachel's too. "So when does Jim and your mom get back from Mexico?" Asked Rachel as she was fixing her makeup in the mirror. "Not until Sunday baby! I have the house to myself ALL weekend" I said extremely excited because ever since the Homecoming dance disaster I've been on tight leash with my mom. "Damn your lucky!" Spencer said entering the bathroom giving me a tight squeeze on my butt as she spoke. _Fucking tease_, I thought to myself. "Okay so are you up for another shot Rachel?" I asked holding up the half full bottle of Smirnoff vodka, it was a small bottle but it was enough. "Hell no im not gonna drink a lot of hard alcohol tonight just beer and stuff" She answered. "Uh LAME I'll drink the rest then, unless you wanna help me out Spence" I said handing her the bottle. "No im good im not coming home to my mom drunk I just want to get a little buzz so just some beer for me!" She said. "Alright then" I said with a sigh. It was just us three hanging out in my room blasting "money maker" on a CD I burned. "Okay Sally and Becky are coming over with Aiden and Andy" I said as I hung up the phone. "Tight, tight" Rachel responded while Spencer was on her phone. I was sitting on the floor while Rachel and Spencer were in my bed. That's when I got a text message from Spencer. I tried to hide my smile.

Spence:

I want you rite now. Or we can shower together..

I was kinda shocked, see what I mean by frisky? Wow. "Oh we can shower together" I said with a laugh. "Haha ok" She replied. "Huh?" Asked Rachel un aware of the text. "Oh nothing..." Spencer said as we laughed. _Fucking tease,_ I thought to myself again. I was buzzing it with about a couple swigs left in the bottle. Tonight was going to be a good night. I got up and walked over to the bed and straddled Spencer. "Uh Rachel can you leave us alone?" I said in a serious tone. "Your stupid" She said with a laugh."No im serious! WO!" I said as I shook my hips while straddling Spencer under me. I wondered what it was really like to have her withering under me."Haha oh my God Ashley your so dumb... Haha" Spencer said as I rolled off of her and giving her a little squeeze on the ass as I moved to lay next to her. "So when Is everyone coming?" She asked between laughs. "Soon hopefully". My hormones were sky rocketing because of the way Spencer was interacting with me, in a flirty way, and this time it wasn't just in my head. She kept on making sexual jokes and grabbing my ass. More than usual.

Plus that I was quickly becoming drunk. We kept talking and messing around until we heard the door bell ring. "Oh yea there here with all the beer!" I said asshot up with Spencer and Rachel following me close behind. I Swung open the door to see Sally, Becky, and Aiden. Sally came in with a six pack of Coronas "Oh hell yea!" I said as soon as I saw the coronas. Becky came in with Mikes hard lemonade and Smirnoff "Ah weak shit, weak shit" I said as Becky came in. And last of all came in Aiden and Andy with a 30 block of Bud Light. "Ok now the party has started. Rachel and Spencer soon followed the alcohol to the kitchen and they were on there way to a not so sober state.

I came into the kitchen already drunk off my ass. I put a CD into the stereo in the kitchen and blasted the music we can dance to. "Okay so im just going to get a buzz nothing more" Spencer said finishing up her first beer while more people started coming to the door. "Hell no not me! Im gonna get fucked up!" Rachel said in return. As more people started to show up the more the alcohol was flowing. It wasn't anything big just a kick back with good friends and some people they invited themselves. "PICTURES!" I yelled as I came up to Spencer and grabbed her into a hug and snapped a picture. "Cute!" I said as I gave her a kiss on the cheek, which I continuously did every 20 minutes, God I loved doing that because I know I can get away with it when im drunk. I did the same to Rachel and took pictures until my memory was full. "I wanna see the pictures!" Rachel said as she grabbed the camera out of my hand. We all gathered around her I was standing behind Spencer looking over her shoulder laughing and commenting about the pictures.

That's when an idea popped in my head. _Now would be a great time to grab Spencer's huge boobs, no never mind, but wait im drunk I can get away with coping a cheap feel.._. I Slowly put my hands around Spencer's waist and in a swift move I grabbed both of her breasts in each hand and gave them a quick squeeze. "AHHH!" She screamed as I let go and ran away with her running after me. _Wow did I actually just do that? Its like im fearless tonight. Was a acting like a animal I've never been this frisky before even when I was drunk with her around, maybe it was because she didn't even mind it._ We ran into my room, and fell on the bed laughing. "Oh my God do you have any mouth wash I don't want my mom to smell the alcohol on my breath". She asked sitting up in the bed. "Yea its in the bathroom". I said getting off of my bed.

She followed me in the bathroom. I pulled out a bottle of Scope and handed it to her. "Here" I said as she took it from my hand. She started to rinse her mouth with it when Rachel, Sally and Becky entered the room. "What are you guys doing?" Rachel asked. "She needed mouth wash for her beer breath". I replied as Spencer spit out the mouth wash into the sink."Okay lets go!" Spencer yelled and we all exited the room back into the party I was walking behind Spencer and decided to yet again get frisky.

I ran up behind her and got a tight grip on her ass with both of my hands. She jumped up and screamed. _Ok that's enough for tonight I have to keep myself on check don't want to expose everything_. I thought to myself, it was hard to keep myself in check because of my raging hormones that were oozing out of me. I tried to keep my mind off her and how much I was turned on by her that night. It helped that more people started to come over which meant more socializing with people other than her. Because to be honest if I would of had her alone in my room I honestly think I would of tried something...

She left with Rachel and Aiden im not sure what time but it wasn't too early. I was in a way glad because I think I might of been a little too out of line but all I received in return was encouragement to do it more. So im really confused about what is going on with her because she never acts that way but then again neither do I. Im in over my head with this one... I thought going to another school and the distance would make it better but it was the exact opposite I missed her even more and she was on my mind 24/7.


	17. Everything

Find me here

And speak to me

I want to feel you

I need to hear you

You are the light

That's leading me

To the place

Where I find peace again

You are the strength

That keeps me walking

You are the hope

That keeps me trusting

You are the life

To my soul

You are my purpose

You're everything

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better than this

(Ahh Yeahhh)

You calm the storms

And you give me rest

You hold me in your hands

You won't let me fall

You steal my heart

And you take my breath away

Would you take me in

Would you take me deeper, now

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better than this

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better than this

Cause you're all I want

You're all I need

You're everything, everything

You're all I want

You're all I need

You're everything, everything

You're all I want

You're all I need

You're everything, everything

You're all I want

You're all I need

Everything, everything...

When how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better than this

Oh And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better any better than this

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better than this

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better than this...

Lifehouse- Everything


	18. Relief

Till I Get Over You

Chapter 18

Relief

Author's Note: Haha "Clover" I loved your review ! Haha it made me laugh and gave me a motive to write a chapter I've been kind of lazy BUT here is your chapter! Oh PS, I GOT MY LICENSE! Yay for me. The divorce thing is made up but I dis go out to eat with my dad .Anyways everything is true. Enjoy.

Ashley's POV

_December 23, 2006_

Christmas break, blah. Since I was YES still on restriction for that homecoming bull crap two months ago. But just sometimes my mom loosens up and actually lets me take her truck to see Spencer, and she only liked it when I only hung out with Spencer. I guess its because she (looks) so innocent and she thinks she's a good influence on me. In a way she is I want to do better just to be able to see her, basicola everything I do is in someway related to her. Kind of pathetic because its not it's the same for her, well not towards me anyways , towards her boyfriend Jason. "Mom its sooo boring!

It's a Saturday and I haven't seen any of my friends for weeks! I wanna do something!" I whined to my mom as she laid in bed watching the news. "Ok well what do you want to do its almost 10, you wanna take my truck and go hang out with Spence?" Of course I did I already asked Spencer if I could go over there, I always made plans before asking my mom because in this situation I could convince her to let me use the truck even though I didn't have my license yet. "Alright cool I just talked to her she said it would be fine if a came over." I said much more upbeat. "Uh okay then be careful you know you don't have your license yet but be very careful, because if you get pulled over... the rest of her lecturing was blocked out as I stood by her bed doing the occasional nod and "uh huh, I know" even though my mind was full of thoughts of Spencer. After she was done lecturing like she did every time I used the truck I ran off to do a quick makeup touch up. I had to look good after not seeing her for weeks.

"Ok mom, love you bye!" I yelled as exited the front door. "Ok be very careful! Love you!" I locked the front door and walked to the truck. I was so excited I wanted to run to the truck. I felt butterflies in my stomach, the usual affect Spencer has on me. I entered the truck and flew down the street. I wanted to speed my way over there. I texted her once I was at a red light. " Hey I just left my house ill be there in like 15 mins. R u sure its ok if I come over its kinda late." Soon I felt my phone vibrate against my leg. I urgently flipped it open. "No, I asked its cool, I don't know why but my mom is like in love with you she always asks about you and wants you to come over." I laughed as I thought to myself, 'Why? I just got arrested and she knows that every time she gets drunk is mostly with me.'

I arrive at her house my heartbeat is beating even harder than when I was speeding over here. I park the truck, turn off the lights and get out. As I walk up her driveway and approach her door my mind is spinning with tonights possibilities. ' Maybe tonight is the night I tell her how I feel and maybe she'll feel the same way and I can finally kiss those lips that I dream about.' But those thoughts soon washed away when she opened the door. ' I can never be able to tell her, in person at least because those eyes, those eyes scare me sometimes. It feels like she can see right through my act I put on in front of her the ' I don't give a shit about anything' act, like she can read my every thought. I smile as I enter " Hey!" I pull her into a hug that takes me away. We let go and walk into the kitchen where her mom is cleaning the dishes. " Hi Ashley! How are you?" She asks glancing over at me. "Im doing pretty good how about yourself?" I ask feeling Spencer come up next to me.

"Oh im good, do you want anything to eat we have a lot of food since the family was just over." She said. "Oh no thank you, I just went out to eat with my dad." Which I did before I came here and it was the first time I saw him in months since the divorce. "Oh well ok." Spencer lead me to her living room and we both sat down on her couch facing each other. " Uh im taking off my socks, sorry my feet might smell." "Great" I said with a laugh as I plugged my nose.

"Shut up!" She said. "Oh I have to tell you about court." I told her with a smile. "Oh yea tell me tell me!" . "Well I met with the probation officer and he went really easy on me, I have to do a 2 page essay on 'how our actions have consequences' 20 hours of community service, and I have to go to a class called 'Kids n' Crime." I said. "Oh yea Jason has to do stuff like that too for probation. God that's the last person I wanna hear about. " He's so dumb who steals computers from the school especially when he was the only one in the computer lab at the time, what an idiot." I said I didn't really like talking bad about him to Spencer I didn't want her to feel like crap because she's in love with a guy that is a disgrace to all men.( See there's the friend part in me) no matter what she'll always be my friend before a lover, even if she doesn't know im in love with her. " Yea I know but something tells me he's still lying about it, I think he did it just to show off to his friends, he's dumb." She said the last part quietly. " Well im just glad he didn't take my driving privileges away, I would of died!" I said. " Yea that would of sucked ass.". She said. Just then her mom walked in the living room.

"Spencer don't forget to turn off all the Christmas lights and make sure the doors are locked okay?" She told Spencer. "okay". "OK Good night kids." She said leaving the living room. "Good night" I replied. "Uh she's so dumb she turns on ALL Christmas lights on to impress the family every time they come over" She said with annoyance in her voice. He house was beautifully decorated with a little mechanical Mr. and Mrs. Clause on the mantel of her fire place with Christmas lights all around her house and a big Christmas tree surrounded with many differently wrapped presents underneath. There was a big square shaped present under the decorated Christmas tree. "Well your lucky because this is the first year I haven't had a Christmas tree, it doesn't even feel like Christmas to me. There's not decorations up in my house but since we just moved my mom doesn't have any money or time to get a tree or decorate." I said still looking at her decorated house. "Yea well it feels like it to me! Im so excited, see that big box under the tree?" She asked excitedly. "Yea, is it for you?" I asked. "Yea it's a T.V for my room!" She said sounding really excited.

It made me laugh because its been so long since I've been actually excited about Christmas and here was Spencer full of life like a little kid . It made me smile. I took the time to actually look at her in all her beauty. In pajama pants a oversized shirt with a cute fur lined jacket with her hair up and all make-up removed. The complete opposite of my attire. Wow it blew my mind how beautiful she looked and she was just being herself ,comfortable. She continued to tell me about her problems with Jason and how she had found text messages on his cell phone from his ex girl friend. I was angry but tried to hide how much it bothered me how he took her for granted. He had no idea how much he hurted her every time he lied to her and claimed that he didn't talk to her anymore. What a piece of shit.

But nothing I can say, no matter how much I put him down and tell her how it is, will she ever leave him. Not with everything she gave him. I don't blame her for being in love with someone she gave her virginity to. But as for him... that's another story. I told her the same thing I always told her when she predictable told me of Jason and the drama with his ex girlfriend, He's an idiot and doesn't deserve you hes just going to continue to do that to you because you never do anything about it. And as ususal she defends her decision to stay with him by saying that she was going to dump him the next time he did it.

Of course neither of us believed it but if it helped her sleep at night. Just then my phone rang. Uh right then I knew it was my mom. "Hello?" I asked. "Ashley its 12 you need to get home now." She said in a tired voice. "Uh ok ill leave right now." I replied. "Ok hurry up." "Bye." I hated knowing I would have to leave. But it was pretty late past my curfew, but I just wasn't ready to leave. "Who was that?" She asked. "Uh my mom she wants me home right now." I replied in a annoyed voice. "Oh." She said For some reason we just kept on talking. We lost track of time and I ended snapping out of my ' Spencer is so beautiful I cant stop being near her' trance when I got another phone call, from my mom. "Oh shit what time is it?" I asked Spencer. "Um 12:32" She said looking at her cell phone. "Fuck" I replied before I opened my phone I was supposed to be home 32 minutes ago.

"Sorry mom I just lost track of time we both just started talking about everythi-" I started to say before she could get mad but she interrupted me. " Ashley just get home if you cant come home when I tell you to your not going to be able to used the truck..." A couple minutes of bitching we said bye and I got up to leave. While I was talking on the phone she was turning off all the Christmas lights in her house and the mechanical Mr. and Mrs. Clause dolls. "Uh I got to go..." I said standing there waiting for her to turn around. "Oh yea well im glad you came over I missed you!" She said as I started walking to the door, goo thing I had my back facing her because I couldn't conceal my smile when she said that. "Yea me too" I said as turned around in front of the door to face her. 'ok then bye, ill see you when I see you" I said as I gave her a hug. For that moment I stopped breathing but at the same time I felt light headed. She has no idea...

"Ok drive safe!" She said as I walked out of the door. I heard it shut behind me and I exhaled. I entered the truck. And smiled, I put my head in my hands and just laughed. "What a relief." I said to myself as I started the truck and drove down the street. I finally felt somewhat fulfilled by seeing her again. I needed to see her soon.


	19. More Angsty Bullshit

Chapter 18

More Angsty Bullshit

Author's Note: This happened a WHILE ago. Im not really sure what day but in the beginning of January. Everything is true. Enjoy.

Ashley's POV

Here I am again. Anxiously waiting for Spencer to come outside of her house so we can g to the movies together. Its been almost 5 minutes and I start to pull out my phone to call her when I see her dad come out along with Spencer and her mom. I roll down the window when Mr. C approaches the truck. "Hey, how are you?" He asks politely as he rests his arms on the window. "Im good how about yourself?". I reply. "Good good, so what are you guys planning to do tonight?" He asks and I look at Spencer who is talking to her mom a couple of feet away from the truck. "Um just going to the movies." I reply. "Oh you know I want her here at 10, do you have your license?" He asks curiously. "No, not yet I have my permit though." I replied. "ok alright be careful there's a lot of drunks out tonight, so just be careful." He said sternly. "Oh I will." I said with a smile. "Ok." he tells Spencer as he walks away. I see Spencer's mom kiss her good-bye and she enters the truck. "Hey!" I say with a smile. "Hey" She says returning a smile as she puts on her seat belt. We drive to the movies. The conversation in the car was light, I was nervous, about what, I don't know but I felt my hands sweating and desperately trying to impress her. Basically I felt like an idiot.

"So, what do you want to watch?" She asked as we both stared up at the movie times in front of the theater. "Um well you have to be home at ten so we can either see 'Night At The Museum' at 5:55 or find something to do for 2 hours and see 'Black Christmas'". I announced. "Um I don't care what do you want to see?" She asked looking at me with those eyes that take my breath away. "um well ... flip a coin!" I said with enthusiasm. "Oh my God!." She said with fake annoyance. That was my solution for all of life's decisions, flip a coin! "Um ok heads is 'Museum', and tails is 'Black Christmas'." She decided. I flipped the coin and let it hit the ground. "Night at the Museum it is!" I said as I picked up the coin that had landed on heads."Alright lets go." She said as she walked toward the door to the theater.

We sat in the one of the back rows and commented on the movie trailers that played before the movie. I smiled to myself as I heard Spencer munching on her nacho's that she bought. " You want any?" She asked through a full mouth. "NO thank you I ate at my house" I said. Just then the movie started. To tell you the truth it wasn't that great of a movie as I think about it, but I did have the greatest of company. I kept stealing lingering glances at Spencer. 'God she's adorable' I thought to myself. I let my eyes wander to her lips, as they curled into a smile, 'I must of missed the part of the movie that was worth smiling about, but its okay ,everything was okay when Spencer is around, I didn't need a movie to smile, just the thought of her made my heart leap'. I thought deeply. 'I want to hold her hand so bad'. I thought as I stared at her hand that was placed on her lap. 'I wish I could be able just to lean over and kiss her, I wish it was that easy just to hold her hand and just be able to hold her tightly in my arms.'

The movie continued with me subconsciously starting at Spencer and wondering about "what if's".

The movie ended and we stood up and walked out of the theater. "It was cute." She commented with a smile as we walked to my truck. "Yea it was good." I wasn't lying but it was only good when I day dreamed about her. We entered the truck and as I started the truck I asked where she wanted to go, since we had a hour and a half to kill. "Um I don't care." She responded. "Well I can drop you off at your house, or we can go to my house and chill until you have to leave..." I suggested hoping that she wouldn't want to go home yet. "I don't care." I wanted her to have some fun so I suggested calling Rachel up, she always was a good time."okay ill call her."

She said as we pulled out of the shopping center toward Rachel's house. A couple of phone calls later with no answer from Rachel I was about to make a U-turn. "ANSWER YOUR PHONE!" she yelled at her phone getting frustrated at the fact that she wasn't answering. We were waiting at a red light to my a U-turn when she called back. "Uh finally! Geez I've been calling you!" She said as she opened her phone. She pauses as she waits for her answer, I glance at her. "Of well im with Ashley do you want to hang out, she has he moms truck." She asked Rachel. "Okay well ill call you when were at your house." She said. I turned into the other lane that headed straight. For the rest of the drive we sat silently listening to music. I was kind of disappointed because I really wanted just to go to my house and just be with her.

We arrived at Rachel's house and I put the truck in park to relax my leg. "Hey Rachel... were outside, Kay bye." She says as she's talking on the phone to Rachel. I close my eyes and think about nothing. I breath, its silent, I want to sleep anything to stop feeling this way for a little while. Just to take a break from loving someone I cant have. I hear the door open and look behind me to the back seat, as Rachel enters the truck. 'Ok Ashley put on you act'. I think to myself as I get myself to smile and say whats up to Rachel. "So where do you want to go?" I ask before I put the truck in drive. "Um lets go to Starbucks ill pay! I got a gift card!" She says. "Alright" We both agree as I put the truck in drive and take off towards Starbucks. We order our drinks and begin to leave. "So where to now?" I ask. "Well I called Aiden he said he's working so we can stop by Baskin Robbins to visit him."

"Ok lets go!" I say leaving the shopping center. On the way we listened to Rachel tell us her hilarious stories of what happened in the past week. We arrived at Baskin Robbins to find Aiden working by himself that night. "Hey! What's up?" I asked with enthusiasm. "Its been a while how's work?" I asked. "Its gay but whatever, did you see my car out there?" He asked pointing out the window to a small two door Honda Civic. "Oh for real? That's cool." I reply. "Yup." He answered. "I want some ice cream Aiden" Rachel whined. "Okay but I almost got caught last time, so I cant give it to you for free, because the cameras show if you open the cash register or not so just give me like 50 cents for what you want." He told Rachel. "Oh tight al right..." She continued to order what she wanted to eat as I turned to Spencer who was standing behind me quietly. "My back hurts so bad! I hate when I sleep wrong!" I said with a painful expression as I put my hand on my upper back and rubbed my shoulder. "Yea that sucks, I gave my mom a 20 minute massage my fingers hurt so bad after." She told meas she leaned her shoulder against the freezer. "Oh hey, why don't you help me out then?" I asked winking at her as I turned my back to her and signaling her to give me a massage. "okay, only for a little while. I felt immediately relaxed as I felt her hands start rubbing my upper back.

Aiden and Rachel continued to talk while I was receiving my massage. Just then I got a phone call. "Justin!" I said as I pulled out my phone and saw that it was the guy that liked me calling me. "Oh let me answer!" Spencer said reaching for the phone. "Okay" I agreed as she took the phone. "Oops missed the call." She replied as she handed me back the phone. "Oh well." I said glad that he hung up before she answered it , he was the last person I wanted to talk to. "Who's that?" Rachel asked as she munched on her ice cream. I began to explain how this guy from my new school liked me. "uh I have to go." Spencer said as she hung up the phone. "My dad wants me home now." She said with a sad look on her face. "Alright then...bye Aiden. Wait you gonna pick me up now that you have a car?" I asked with a wide grin. "Haha okay call me tomorrow." He replied with a laugh. "Okay! Have a nice time at work!" I said as we all said our good-byes as we left his work. I dropped off Rachel first and pulled up to Spencer's house. "She opened the door and hopped out. Before she closed the door she gave me a sexy look as she said "I had a really nice time tonight." She smiled and giggled as she joked with me. All I did was wink at her and she laugh and shut the door.


	20. My heart cant shatter anymore

Till I Get Over You (Which is tonight)

My heart can't shatter anymore.

Authors Note: Im really over her, honestly I thought this would never happen. Im so done with having a part of me depressed all the time, its not worth it, she's not worth is anymore. She's still with "Jason" who still hasn't changed but she cant see who he really is, even though theirs proof in pudding. Thanks to all you loyal fans of this story. You guys have helped me through a lot of this crap and im really grateful for writing this as long as I did to figure out that there's nothing there that can make me happy waiting for something that isn't going to happen. Well thank you for all that read. I started a new story called "Yea its cool we can still be friends" Go read it!


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